Crash Goes Stupid Special DVD Edition!
by Unkillable
Summary: Forgot all the past installments of Crash Goes Stupid? Then get nostalgic with this collection with NO bonus features! Read only if you could care less about your sanity.
1. Crash Goes Stupid

This is the first installment of my infamous Crash fics series, Crash Goes Stupid. There are currently five installments, and this is where it all; begins. Note that I wrote these a long time ago, so it's before Crunch. Before N. Trance. Before all that. In fact, I think the farthest it goes is Crash 3.  
  
Anyways, sit back, relax, and enjoy the stupidity!   
  
--------------------------------  
  
Crash Goes Stupid  
  
by FNC  
  
Far off the coast of N. Sanity Island, the scientist Dr. Embryo is expirementing with three bandicoots. Soon....  
  
Embryo: YES!!! IT WORKS!!!  
  
Suddenly, the three bandicoots jump up and smash everything in sight. They then escape through the back door.  
  
Embryo: NOOOOOO!!!!  
  
Who knows what these four idiots will do now that they are loose to wreak havoc on N.Sanity City?  
  
Ladies and gentlemen,  
  
Radio: It's time for AAAnimaaaniacs!  
  
Director: What the....  
  
The bandistooges are seen taking off.  
  
Director: COME BACK HERE!!!  
  
Oh, boy. Now, let's start over....  
  
Far off the coast of...  
  
NO, FOOL! NOT THERE!  
  
Oh. Ladies and gentlemen....  
  
It's time for CRASH GOES STUPID!!!  
  
Deep in the streets and alleys of N.Sanity City, we hear hideous laughing coming from the streets....  
  
Crash: HEEEHEEHEEHOOOHOOHAAAHAAA!!!  
  
Coco: You sound more like Ripper Roo than Cortex!  
  
Crash: Shut it!  
  
Coco: Why?  
  
Crash: 'Cause I said so!  
  
Coco: Who cares what you say?  
  
Tawna: Will you two stop it?  
  
Crash and Coco: NO!  
  
Tawna: This is what I get for sticking around with two losers like you!  
  
Coco: Which makes you one of us?  
  
Tawna: No, why?  
  
Coco: 'Cause, last time I checked, YOU were a loser like us!  
  
Crash: Stooge.  
  
Tawna: DOH!  
  
Crash: HOOHOOHAAHAAHAAAAA!!!  
  
Coco: Hey, you're actually starting to sound like Cortex for a change!  
  
Crash: Shut up. I don't need your input!  
  
Coco: I said you're starting to sound like Cortex!  
  
Crash: Uhh.. I said "Really?"  
  
Tawna: Hey, check out this thing I found on the ground over there!  
  
She pulls out a spray painted mask that looks like Uka Uka.  
  
Coco: AAAAAAAH!!!  
  
She takes off down the street.  
  
Tawna: Well, there goes Ms. Scaredy Boots.  
  
Crash: Yup.  
  
Tawna: What a coward.  
  
Crash: Yeah.  
  
Tawna: Hey, wanna go to Crash Mart?  
  
Crash: You mean it's finally open?  
  
Tawna: No. When did I say that?  
  
Crash: Well, I was thinking that if you wanted to go, then Crash Mart would be...  
  
Tawna: Quiet! I was being sarcastic. It is open.  
  
Crash: I'm confused.  
  
Tawna: Then again, you always are!  
  
Crash: Why, I oughta....  
  
Tawna: Bring it on, tough guy!  
  
Their fight is interrupted by Coco, who has just come back from her little jog. She sees the mask on the ground and takes off again.  
  
Coco: AAAAAAAH!!!  
  
She takes off down the street.  
  
Tawna: Well, there goes Ms. Scaredy Boots.  
  
Crash: Yup.  
  
Tawna: What a coward.  
  
Crash: Yeah.  
  
Tawna: Hey, wanna go to Crash Mart?  
  
Crash: You mean it's finally open?  
  
Tawna: No. When did I say that?  
  
Crash: Well, I was thinking that if you wanted to go, then Crash Mart would be...  
  
Tawna: Quiet! I was being sarcastic. It is open.  
  
Crash: I'm confused.  
  
Tawna: Then again, you always are!  
  
Crash: Why, I oughta....  
  
Tawna: Bring it on, tough guy!  
  
Their fight is interrupted by Coco, who has just come back from her little jog. She sees the mask on the ground and takes off again.  
  
Coco: AAAAAAAH!!!  
  
She takes off down the street.  
  
Tawna: Well, there goes Ms. Scaredy Boots.  
  
Crash: Yup.  
  
Tawna: What a coward.  
  
Crash: Yeah.  
  
Tawna: Hey, wanna go to Crash Mart?  
  
Crash: You mean it's finally open?  
  
Tawna: No. When did I say that?  
  
Crash: Well, I was thinking that if you wanted to go, then Crash Mart would be...  
  
Tawna: Quiet! I was being sarcastic. It is open.  
  
Crash: I'm confused.  
  
Tawna: Then again, you always are!  
  
Crash: Why, I oughta....  
  
Tawna: Bring it on, tough guy!  
  
Their fight is interrupted by Coco, who has just come back from her little jog. She sees the mask on the ground and takes off again.  
  
Coco: AAAAAAAH!!!  
  
She takes off down the street.  
  
Tawna: Well, there goes Ms. Scaredy Boots.  
  
Crash: Yup.  
  
Tawna: What a coward.  
  
Crash: Yeah.  
  
Tawna: Hey, wanna go to Crash Mart?  
  
Crash: You mean it's finally open?  
  
Tawna: No. When did I say that?  
  
Crash: Well, I was thinking that if you wanted to go, then Crash Mart would be...  
  
Tawna: Quiet! I was being sarcastic. It is open.  
  
Crash: I'm confused.  
  
Tawna: Then again, you always are!  
  
Crash: Why, I oughta....  
  
Tawna: Bring it on, tough guy!  
  
Their fight is interrupted by Coco, who has just come back from her little jog. She sees the mask on the ground and takes off again.  
  
Coco: AAAAAAAH!!!  
  
She takes off down the street.  
  
Tawna: Well, there goes Ms. Scaredy Boots.  
  
Crash: Yup.  
  
Tawna: What a coward.  
  
Crash: Yeah.  
  
Tawna: Hey, wanna go to Crash Mart?  
  
Crash: You mean it's finally open?  
  
Tawna: No. When did I say that?  
  
Crash: Well, I was thinking that if you wanted to go, then Crash Mart would be...  
  
Tawna: Quiet! I was being sarcastic. It is open.  
  
Crash: I'm confused.  
  
Tawna: Then again, you always are!  
  
Crash: Why, I oughta....  
  
Tawna: Bring it on, tough guy!  
  
Their fight is interrupted by Coco, who has just come back from her little jog. She sees the mask on the ground.  
  
Coco: Sigh...  
  
FNC: Gotcha!!!  
  
Were you tired of reading the same thing over and over again? Were you tired of reading the same thing over and over again? Well, boy did you look stupid! Cause you know what? I LIVE IN YOUR MONITOR!!!  
  
Boss: No you don't. Now get back to work!  
  
Oh, fine.  
  
Coco: Whew! I'm pooped!  
  
She glances over at the mask.  
  
Coco: AAAAAAAH!  
  
She takes off yet again.  
  
Tawna: NOT AGAIN!!!  
  
Crash: COCO!!! STOP!!!  
  
Too late. She's nowhere to be seen.  
  
Crash: Man!  
  
Tawna: So, Uku Uku, what should we do now?  
  
Crash: Uku Uku?  
  
Tawna: Well, duh!  
  
Crash: What a stupid name!  
  
Tawna: Better than a stupid bandicoot!  
  
Crash: Like you?  
  
Tawna: No. Like YOU!!  
  
Crash: Whoo, big comeback.  
  
Tawna: I have better, like my five knuckles that are about to be in your face!!!  
  
Crash: I've heard better threats from a mouse!  
  
POW!!! Crash sees stars for the next 10 seconds.  
  
Tawna: And THAT, kids, is why you should never egg on a fight!  
  
Crash: I heard that!  
  
Tawna: So, Uku Uku, what should we do now?  
  
Uku Uku: ...........  
  
Tawna: Okay! To Crash Mart it is!  
  
Crash: You moron! That stupid mask didn't say squat!  
  
Tawna: Yes he did! He said "Crash Mart! Where everything's smart! I don't really like this job, but at least I get paid!"  
  
Crash: Earth to Loser, that was the Crash Mart Mascot over there!  
  
He points to a black Corvette which a giant Crash dude is driving.  
  
Mascot: Booyah, grandma, booyah!  
  
Tawna: Hmm, she looks a little too young to be his grandma.  
  
Crash: True.  
  
Tawna suddenly pulls out a saw.  
  
Tawna: I saw this in a movie once!  
  
She cuts a hole of air. It reveals what looks like a top secret gang meeting.  
  
Gang Leader: Hey! Get outta here!  
  
He starts to shoot at them. Tawna pushes the hole out of the way. Crash starts to back up into the hole Tawna created in the street.  
  
Crash: Did ya see anything?  
  
He suddenly looks down and realizes he is standing on top of a hole.  
  
Crash: Huh? AAAAAAAHHH!!!  
  
He falls through the air and back through the hole.  
  
Crash: AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!  
  
He continues this pattern like so....  
  
Crash: AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!  
  
Tawna: Crash?  
  
She starts to look around the area.  
  
Crash: AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!  
  
Tawna: Oh Crash?  
  
She then looks in the air to see Crash falling again.  
  
Crash: AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!  
  
Tawna: Crash?  
  
She then looks down just as Crash falls through again.  
  
Crash: AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!  
  
Tawna: MY TURN!!!  
  
She pulls the hole from the ground, causing Crash to hit the street.  
  
Crash: Owww...  
  
Tawna then puts her head through the hole while she is holding it.  
  
Tawna: Cool...  
  
Crash: Whaddya see?  
  
Tawna: A little ant farm with an ant yelling at me.  
  
Crash: That ant is me!  
  
Tawna: You're an ant?  
  
Crash: No, moron! I'm a bandicoot, but I'm the guy in the so-called ant farm yelling at you!  
  
Tawna: Ohhhhh....  
  
Crash: STOOGE!  
  
Tawna: DOH! Hey, I think Coco's back!  
  
Crash: Nah, that's just somebody out for a morning jog.  
  
Tawna: Oh. HEY! There she is! With what looks like an angry mob chasing her!  
  
Crash: No, that's just a marathon.  
  
Tawna: Oh. And another thing. I THINK I'M STUCK IN THIS HOLE!!!  
  
Crash: No you're not. Just pull your head out!  
  
She pulls it out.  
  
Tawna: Thanks!  
  
Crash: Okay...  
  
mumbles Stooge...  
  
Tawna: I HEARD THAT!! Hey, there she is!  
  
Yeah. THIS time it really is Coco.  
  
Coco: Pant pant pant pant....  
  
She sees that darn mask again.  
  
Coco: AAAAAAAHH! SAVE ME SOMEONE!!!  
  
She runs back down the block.  
  
Tawna: Oh, boy.  
  
Crash: Well, until she comes back, I'm just gonna sit here under this cardboard box.  
  
He walks over to a cardboard box in the nearest alley, picks it up, goes out to the sidewalk, sits down, and puts the box over top of him.  
  
Crash: Ahh, that's better.  
  
Tawna: Hope you don't suffocate.  
  
Crash: What is this "suffocate"?  
  
Tawna: Good luck!  
  
The marathon passes by at him, and then the box starts to get pelted with something.  
  
Crash: AAAAH!!! THE SKY IS FALLING! THE SKY IS FALLING!!!  
  
Chicken Little: Yeah, and my refrigerator is running!  
  
A fridge is seen running in the marathon.  
  
I hate the vague cliches they put in stories like these.  
  
When the pelting stops, Crash looks outside and sees about a million dollars worth of quarters lying around the box. On one there is a note. On the back is a letter. And attached to the letter (which by the way is G), there's a message that reads:  
  
Dear Hobo Guy,  
  
Take this as a gift from us.  
  
Signed,  
The N.Sanity Marathon Runners  
  
Crash: Sweet! I guess being a hobo really does pay off!  
  
Tawna: DOH!  
  
Coco comes back, and doesn't see the mask... wait, let her! JUST KEEP RUNNING YOU FOOL!  
  
Coco: AAAH! I'M GONNA KEEP RUNNING, JUST LIKE THE NARRATOR TOLD ME TO!!!  
  
About 15 minutes later, Coco finally collapses.  
  
Coco: Gahh....  
  
Crash: So now what do ya wanna do?  
  
Tawna: I know! Let's hold tryouts for new members of our group!  
  
Crash: YEAH!  
  
Coco: Aaagh...  
  
Later, in a small backstage looking place, we see Crash, Coco, and Tawna each talk to some people. First we look at Tawna.  
  
Tawna: So tell me, what else do you do...  
  
Baby: ......  
  
Tawna: besides drool?  
  
The baby crawls off.  
  
Tawna: SAME TO YOU! NEXT!!!  
  
Harry: I really would like to join...  
  
Tawna: YES!!!  
  
Harry: But, I must warn you of one thing....  
  
Tawna: What?  
  
Harry: MESS WITH ME AND I'LL USE MY MAGICAL POWERS TO DESTROY YOU!!!  
  
Tawna: We'll call you.  
  
Crash: Call him what?  
  
Tawna: Crash!  
  
Crash: 'Cause I can think of a few things.  
  
Tawna: NEXT!  
  
John John: I... have... attention dicefit disorder.  
  
Tawna: Really?  
  
John John: ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?!?!?! PLEASE TELL ME YOU ARE!!!!  
  
Tawna: Uh... yeah....  
  
John John: SWEET!!! THIS IS SO COOL!!!  
  
Tawna: Okay, so now that I'm talking to you, I...  
  
John John: ARE YOU TALKING TO ME AGAIN?!?!?!  
  
Tawna: Yeah...  
  
John John: ALRIGHT!!!  
  
Now we go to Coco:  
  
Coco: So, what do you do?  
  
Crocodingo: Arg....  
  
Coco: Fiercer than that!  
  
Crocodingo: Arg....  
  
Coco: Excellent! You're in!   
  
Crocodingo: Arg?  
  
Coco: NEXT!!!  
  
Scenile: So am I in?  
  
Coco: Well...  
  
Scenile: 'Cause if not I'll...  
  
Coco: We'll call you!  
  
Finally we see Crash.  
  
Crash: So you guys' names are Moe and Joe too?  
  
Bob: No  
  
Rob: No  
  
Crash: Then we'll call you.  
  
Bob: Sweeeeet....  
  
Rob: Duuuuude....  
  
Crash: Where's my car?  
  
Coco: You don't have one!  
  
Crash: Oh.  
  
The three losers all huddle in a secret room.  
  
Tawna: All I got are a baby who drools and has no respect for others, some guy who does magic tricks, and a guys who needs to pay attention more.  
  
Coco: I got the cutest little guy who could growl like a dog, but I also got a guy who was pretty scenile!  
  
Crash: I got two guys who  
  
Tawna: Stole your car!  
  
Crash: No way! Really?  
  
Tawna: No, you don't have a car! STOOGE!!!  
  
Crash: DOH!  
  
Coco: So who do we want in?  
  
Tawna: Definetely none of my guys!  
  
Crash: Mine are gone.  
  
Coco: That Scenile guy is too dangerous!  
  
Crash: Then that leaves...  
  
ALL: CROCODINGO!!!  
  
Crocodingo: Arg?  
  
The next day, back at Idiot Street, the now four idiots are just doing the same thing they always do; being stupid!  
  
Coco: So now what should we do?  
  
Crash: I don't really know!  
  
Tawna: Shall we ask Uku Uku?  
  
Coco: NOOOOOOO!!!!  
  
Tawna: Oh, fine, ya big baby!  
  
In case you missed Tawna's secret hint, please read the last section over again.  
  
FNC: GOTCHA AGAIN!  
  
Boy, that time you not only looked stupid, but you WERE stupid!  
  
Boss: Hey! One more insult and I'll...  
  
SHUT UP!  
  
Boss: That's it!  
  
I shove the door in Mr. Boss's face and lock it. Ther! That should keep HIM out for awhile. Now anyways, after I was rudely interrupted....  
  
Crocodingo: Arg!  
  
Coco: Aww, ain't he cute?  
  
Crocodingo: RRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!  
  
Coco: AAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!  
  
She runs off.  
  
Tawna: Oh, well.  
  
Crash: Hey, let's have a contest!  
  
Tawna: Okay, whoever can stay quiet the longest gets 20 bucks!  
  
Crash: Okay, silence starts.... NOW!  
  
Tawna: .....  
  
Crash: .....  
  
Crocodingo: .....  
  
Tawna: .....  
  
Crash: .....  
  
Crocodingo: .....  
  
Coco runs back to them and runs into them.  
  
Coco: Watch it! Stupid girl coming through!  
  
She kicks Crocodingo out of the way.  
  
Crocodingo: Arg!  
  
Crash: YOU TALKED!  
  
Tawna: I WIN!!!  
  
Crash: DOH!  
  
Tawna: Now, about that 20 bucks....  
  
Suddenly, they are all warped to a strange lab place where the four idiots are trapped in glass cylanders.  
  
Crash: Hey! Where are we?  
  
Tawna: Don't look at me!  
  
Coco: Whoa!  
  
Crocodingo: Arg!  
  
Suddenly, four people walk through an automatic door in the room.  
  
Crash: Hey!  
  
Coco: They're clones!  
  
Tawna: Cool...  
  
Crocodingo: ARG!  
  
The clones start to talk amongst each other....  
  
Clone 2: So, Crush, are these the ones?  
  
Crush: Yes, Tawnu, they are.  
  
Caca: They look... stupid!  
  
Dingodile: That's because they probably are!  
  
Crash: COOL!!!  
  
Coco: Their names are just like ours!  
  
Tawna: Far out!  
  
Crocodingo: ARG!!!  
  
Crush: Ah, it's idiots like these who make society bad.  
  
Caca: Yet, quite stupid indeed.  
  
Tawnu: What morons.  
  
Dingodile: YEAH!  
  
Crash: Ah, it's geniuses like these who make society cool!  
  
Coco: Yes, quite awesome indeed!  
  
Tawna: What heroes!  
  
Crocodingo: ARG!  
  
Did you notice that they all said the same thing! NO! 'Cause they didn't! The idiots said just the opposite of what the clones said!  
  
FNC: GOTCHA YET AGAIN!!!  
  
Have you been continuously fooled by three certain letters? Well, you're not the only one, bub!  
  
The door gets busted down, but not by the boss, but...  
  
AWW, &$!!! IT'S THE COPS!!!  
  
One of them puts handcuffs on me.  
  
Cop: You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be held against you in the court of law.  
  
I shut up mas they drag me away.  
  
Okay, I'm the new narrator, peoples. I hopefully WON'T be as insultive as that other jerk.  
  
So, the four clones take the four idiots in for some questioning. First we look at Tawna and Tawnu.  
  
Tawnu: So how come you've made me look like an idiot?  
  
Tawna: IT'S REALLY YOU!!!  
  
Tawnu: Yeah... so why?  
  
Tawna: 'CAUSE I LOOOOVE YOU!!!  
  
Tawnu: Love? That's an extreme word!  
  
Tawna: Oh, my gosh, I am so sorry, I'm acting like a total idiot... sooooooy un pedrador... I'm a loser Tawnu, so why don't ya kill me?  
  
Tawnu: 'Cause I forgot my laser gun at home.  
  
Next we see Dingodile and Crocodingo.  
  
Dingodile: So, mate, why have you been trying to act like me?  
  
Crocodingo: Arg?  
  
Dingodile: Huh?  
  
Crocodingo: Arg?  
  
Dingodile: Huh?  
  
Crocodingo: Arg?  
  
Dingodile: Oh, my! I'm in love!!!  
  
Crocodingo: Arg?  
  
Next is Crash and Crush.  
  
Crush: Boy, this shirt is getting itchy.  
  
He takes it off.  
  
Crash: Yoink!  
  
He snatches the shirt and takes off.  
  
We return to Tawna and Tawnu.  
  
Tawnu: Here, can you hold my eyeliner for me?  
  
Tawna: Sure!  
  
As soon as she gets her grubby little paws on it, she takes off.  
  
Tawnu: Hey! COME BACK HERE WITH THAT!!!  
  
Tawna tries to escape, but she falls through the floor and lands right on Dingodile.  
  
Dingodile: WHOA!  
  
His extremely sharp teeth fly out of his mouth and into Crocodingo's.  
  
Crocodingo: Aaaarg!  
  
Dingodile: My teef... gimme my teef back!  
  
Crocodingo: Arg arg!  
  
The idiots run off with the clones in hot pursuit. Down with Coco and Caca....  
  
Caca: Oh no... here we go... stay right here, I'll be right back.  
  
Coco: Okay!  
  
Caca leaves Coco alone to see what's going on two floors up.  
  
Coco: Hey! She left her laptop adaptable CD-Rom drive here!  
  
She snatches it and leaves. She soon runs into the other three idiots.  
  
Tawna: Come on! Let's get out of here!  
  
They escape the lab just as the clones are about to catch them. They then go to Moron Manor to rest.  
  
Crash: Now my outfit is complete!  
  
He slips on Crush's shirt.  
  
Coco: Now I can get CD-Roms for my laptop!  
  
She plugs Caca's CD-Rom drive into her laptop.  
  
Tawna: Now I have eyeliner!  
  
She puts some of Tawnu's eyeliner on.  
  
Crocodingo: Arg!  
  
He is seen with Dingodile's sharp teeth.  
  
So, what new adventures will our morons face in the near future? Find out in Crash Goes Stupid 2: Stupider than B4!!!!  
  
THE END  
  
Note: This takes place before Dingodile was introduced into the Crash series.


	2. Crash Goes Stupid 2: Stupider than B4!

Here for your readin' pleasure is the second installment of the Crash Goes Stupid series. Even more stupidity abounds than in the last!  
  
-------------------------------------  
  
Crash Goes Stupid 2: Stupider than B4!  
  
BY FNC (FakeNeoCrash)  
  
In the lair of Dr. Embryo...  
  
Embryo: Yes! To catch the bandicoot maniacs on the loose, I have created...  
  
He opens a large graffiti-ridden shutter to reveal the Rainbow-Matic 2000 Rainbow Maker: capable of catching and carrying anything that gets caught in the rainbow!  
  
Embryo: THIS THINGY!!!  
  
Suddenly, the lights go out, and the Rainbow-matic is seen moving. The lights turn back on, only to reveal that the invention is gone!  
  
Embryo: DARN YOU LEPRECHAUNS!!!  
  
Ladies and gents, it's time for  
  
CRASH GOES STUPID TWO: STUPIDER THAN B4!!!  
  
Weth Krash, Koakoa, end Tauna Bandakut.  
  
Director: NO!!! GET BACK HERE, YOU BANDICOOTS!!!  
  
The director hands me a new script.  
  
Okay... ahem... with Crash, Coco, and Tawna Bandicoot!  
  
In Moron Manor, we hear loud yapping from the three idiot bandicoots we know as Crash, Coco, and Tawna.  
  
Suddenly, we see Buzz Lightyear trying to escape a spikey wall. He narrowly escapes, and jumps across multiple small platforms. He then tries to take a power battery, but finds it's only a hologram when the evil Emperor Zurg appears.  
  
Zurg: HAHAHAHAHA!!! You have made it far, Lightyear. However, you will not live for much longer! BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!  
  
He starts to shoot energy balls at Buzz, who keeps dodging. However, when he prepares to attack, he gets toasty fried by Zurg. His remains crash to the ground.  
  
Suddenly, in big red letters, GAME OVER is displayed across the screen.  
  
Crash: AWW! NOT AGAIN!!!  
  
Coco: Man, Crash! You suck!  
  
Crash: No, it's not that! I've only got these little paws! How am I supposed to hit X AND Square at the same time when all I've got is little stumps considered to be paws?  
  
Coco: Get better hands!  
  
Crash: Hahahaha, very funny, I'm laughing my shirt off.  
  
Coco: Gimme that! It's my turn!  
  
She snatches the controller out of his hands, ejects the Buzz Lightyear disc from the case, and puts in Grand Theft Auto 2.  
  
Coco: I've almost got all the Yakuza missions completed! But that "Stop the Tank" mission is just too hard!  
  
Crash: Good luck!  
  
Now we see a bunch of little streets with a tiny muscular figure in the middle of the screen. After plowing through a crowd, it hijacks a Mitchelli Roadster and heads to a red Yakuza Phone. Then, in big orange letters, "STOP THE TANK" appears. A mission briefing from Johnny Zoo, Yakuza Gang Leader, appears at the bottom of the screen:  
  
Johnny Zoo: Hey, Kosai. Johnny Zoo here. Military officials have sent in a tank to destroy all of my exotic cars. Stop it before they're all scrap metal!  
  
Reading this, the figure obtains a Rocket Launcher at the bottom of a flight of stairs, enters the Roadster, and heads to the location that the big pink arrow is pointing to. When it arrives, six soldiers start shooting at the car at the same time. In no time flat the Car Damage meter fills up, and the figure is blown sky high. As soon as it lands on the ground, both "MISSION FAILED" and "GAME OVER" appear on the screen.  
  
Coco: Aw, not again! And I alomost had 'em, too!  
  
Crash: No, you sucked just like all the other times!  
  
Coco: SHUT IT! I just need to find a Kill Frenzy to get an extra life and then save!  
  
Tawna enters the room with three glasses of fruit punch and a huge bowl of Cheez-Its on a tray.  
  
Tawna: I've got some more munchies!  
  
Coco: Would ya believe it, Tawna? I lost again!  
  
Tawna: Oh, what a surprise.  
  
Crash: And my stupid paws won't let me beat Zurg!  
  
Tawna: Shut up! My turn!  
  
She steals the paddle from Coco, takes out GTA2, and puts in the Legend of Dragoon.  
  
Crash: You're gonna try to beat Lloyd AGAIN!!!  
  
Coco: Girl, you just never give up!  
  
Tawna: I have a really good feeling. Like I'm gonna beat him this time!  
  
Crash: Oh, so you've got the feeling again, eh?  
  
Tawna: Shut it!  
  
She loads her game and heads through a small door. Suddenly, there's a brief little flick. She hits X to skip it and just cut to the chase. After about a hundred attacks, Lloyd finally hits the ground.  
  
Tawna: YES!!! I DID IT!!!  
  
But suddenly, he turns into a Dragoon!  
  
Tawna: WHAT?!?!?! NO WAY!!!  
  
She dies in no time flat.  
  
Tawna: NOOOOOOOOOO! I WAS SO CLOSE!!! Hold on, lemme try again! I'll get him this time!!!  
  
She tries again.  
  
7 days later....  
  
Tawna: AW, MAN! NOT AGAIN!!  
  
Crash: Will you give it a rest now? You've been playing for over a week now!  
  
Tawna: Oh, fine, ya big baby.  
  
She shuts the Playstation off.  
  
Tawna: So, what do ya wanna do now?  
  
Coco: How about we hit the hay, and then go to that new "Klub Katz"!  
  
Crash: Good idea!  
  
So they rest up. Morning arrives in no time flat.  
  
Crash: Will ya stop sayin' that?  
  
Oh...  
  
Tawna: TO KLUB KATZ!!  
  
On their way to Klub Katz...  
  
Tawna: TO KLUB KATZ!!  
  
Crash: Will you shut up? You've said that 164 times in the last 10 minutes!  
  
Tawna: Really? TO KLUB KATZ!!  
  
Crash: Stooge!  
  
Tawna: DOH! TO KLUB KATZ!  
  
Crash: Stooge times 165!!! And a stooge for every time you say "TO KLUB KATZ" starting.... NOW!  
  
Tawna: TO KLUB KATZ!  
  
Crash: Stooge!  
  
Coco: Oh, my aching head....!  
  
Hours later, they finally reach the red building with "KLUB KATZ" in fancy neon letters over the entrance. A bouncer is waiting.  
  
Bouncer: Alright, who are you three kids?  
  
Crash: Uh... Crash! Crash Bandicoot!  
  
Coco: Coco! Coco Bandicoot!  
  
Bouncer: Alright, go on in! Wait! I wasn't talking to you. Name, please!  
  
Tawna: Uh, Tawna Bandicoot?  
  
Bouncer: Nice try, girlfriend, but you don't fool me! Ha, just kidding! I know who you are! You're with Crash and Coco! Go on in! Have fun!  
  
Tawna: Wheeeeeew!  
  
They walk along obliviously when they hit something.  
  
Crash: Ow!  
  
Papu Papu: What are three puny bandicoots doing? Papu breakdance, bandicoots go around!  
  
Tawna: And run the N.Sanity Marathon? I think not! Make way!  
  
Papu: Papu feel gas coming...  
  
Coco: WE'LL GO AROUND!!!  
  
So they walk aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....  
  
15 minutes later....  
  
...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall the way around Papu. Then, boy do they see a sight for sore eyes!  
  
Or brains, in their case!  
  
Crash: Hey, look!  
  
Coco: No way!  
  
Tawna: Far out!  
  
ALL: IT'S CROCODINGO!!!  
  
Crocodingo: ARG!  
  
Crash: Boy, did we miss you, buddy ol' pal!  
  
Coco: How's life been treatin' ya?  
  
Tawna: Have you been doing your homework?  
  
DJ: Hey there, all you KRAAAAAAAZY Katz and Chikz! This is Tom Katz, and boy, do we have a contest cooooming up! It's a rap and dance contest. Have the best rap with the best moves, and we'll give you 200 biiiiiiiig bukz!  
  
The morons all start to think for a change....  
  
Crash's thoughts: Hey! That can buy me the Buzz Lightyear Strategy guide!  
  
Coco's thoughts: With it I can find out how to kill that stupid tank!  
  
Tawna's thoughts: And then there'll be no waaaay Lloyd'll be able to beat me!  
  
Crocodingo's thoughts: Arg arg arg!  
  
Katz: The contest starts in a half an hour, so get those raps a crackin'!  
  
ALL: THAT'S IT!  
  
Crocodingo: Arg!  
  
The idiots huddle. Half an hour later....  
  
Katz: Hey, all you KRAAAAAAAZY Katz and Chikz! It's the moment YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITIN' FOR! It's time for the big rap contest!  
  
And our first contestant is Papu Papu with "Papu Pulse"!  
  
Crash: Good luck!  
  
Crash's thoughts: You're gonna need it!  
  
Papu starts to shake his butt.  
  
Papu: Papu Papu Papupupu! Papu Papu Papupupu! Papu Papu Papupupu! PAPU PAPU PAPUPUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!  
  
Katz: Well, since I'm a Kat that likes to EXPRESS his opinion, I must say Papu... THAT JUST PLAIN SUCKED!!!! You're out!  
  
Papu: Papu mad....  
  
Next, we have Komodo Doe and Komodo Toe, doing their infamous creation "Komodo Slither".  
  
Crash: What a laugh!  
  
2 hours later...  
  
Katz: And our last contestant...  
  
Crash: AAAAACK!  
  
Coco: Make it stop! MAKE IT STOP!!  
  
Tawna: Oh, my aching head!  
  
Crocodingo: Aaaaaaarg....  
  
CRASH, COCO, TAWNA, AND CROCODINGO WITH "THE WUMPA RAP"!!!  
  
Crash: Duh!  
  
Tawna: We're like the only ones left in here!  
  
Coco: Okay, here goes....  
  
Crash: The Wumpa Rap! The Wumpa Rap! The best stinkin' fruit on this side of the map!  
  
Coco: The juices will flow, so away they go, and if you wanna try to stop 'em, speak to my big toe!  
  
Tawna: It'll kick you and rock you to the planet of Zarg! So whatcha got, C. D., a simple...  
  
Crocodingo: ARG!!!  
  
Crash: Speak to us, and we'll cuss, you all out! Well mash you and eat you just like sauer craut!  
  
Tawna: Well, this rap is almost over and we'll leave with a zing! So let's hear it one more time from Crocodingo, the... the... whispers psst... Coco! What IS Crocodingo, anyways?  
  
Coco: How am I supposed to know? A thing!  
  
Tawna: THING!  
  
Crocodingo: Arg arg argarg, argarg arg! Argargargargargarg, argargargarg! Arg argargarg, argarg, argarg arg, argarg AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG!!!  
  
Katz: Well, I must personally say that was the lousiest one I've heard yet besides the Papu Pulse, but since there's no one else he to award the prize to, I guess you're our winners!  
  
ALL: YES!!!  
  
Back at Moron Manor...  
  
Crash: IT'S MINE!!!  
  
Coco: NO! I NEED IT MORE!!!  
  
Tawna: I'm the best one here, so I'll have it!  
  
Crocodingo: Arg!  
  
Crash: Good idea! Well draw from a hat, and whoever's name gets picked gets the cash!  
  
Tawna: Okay!  
  
A hat magically appears with their name inside. Crocodingo pulls out the name....  
  
Crocodingo: And the winner is....  
  
Tawna: Hey! How can he talk?  
  
Crocodingo: It's only for this. Anyways, the winner is C...  
  
Tawna: DANG!  
  
Crocodingo: ...r...  
  
Coco: Aw, man! Now I'll never beat the tank!  
  
Crocodingo: ...ocodingo!!  
  
Crash: Hey! You can't have the money! You're just an ANIMAL!!!  
  
Crocodingo: Or so you think! YOINK!  
  
He steals the money and leaves.  
  
Tawna: Crash! Call the cops! We have a money thief here!  
  
Crash picks up the phone and dials 744-5463  
  
Which is PIG-LINE  
  
Cop 700: Hello, Bond James, Chief of N.Sanity City, how may I help you?  
  
Crash: Yes, we've got a pet thing named Crocodingo who's just stolen $200 from us! We need your help to catch him!  
  
Bond: Description please.  
  
Coco: He's real short, has the head of a crocodile, the tail of a dingo, very easy to spot.  
  
Bond: Thank you. We'll be on the job.  
  
He hangs up.  
  
Bond: They wish! Well, back to eatin' donuts!  
  
He chomps on an eclaire.  
  
Back at Moron Manor...  
  
Tawna: Do you think they'll really search for him?  
  
Crash: Nope. They're nothin' but a bunch of good for nothing donut-eatin' pigs. I knew they wouldn't look for him.  
  
Coco: Thay why'd ya call?  
  
Crash: Call who?  
  
Tawna and Coco: THE PIGS???  
  
Crash: What pigs?  
  
Tawna: The good for nothing donut-eatin' pigs you were just talking about!  
  
Crash: 'Cause I wanted them to help find Crocodingo!  
  
Coco: What a stooge...  
  
Crash: DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!  
  
"DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!" echoes throughout all of N.Sanity City.  
  
City guy: SHUT UP!!!  
  
Hours later, Crocodingo returns.  
  
Crash: And just WHERE have you been?  
  
Coco: And what did you buy?  
  
Tawna: With OUR money?  
  
Crocodingo holds up a sign.  
  
Crocodingo's sign: I got mugged. Stole all money. Ran off.  
  
Crash: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Coco: YOU STOOGE!  
  
Tawna: YOU JUST LOST 2OO BUCKS!!!  
  
Crocodingo's sign: And you know what else?  
  
Crash: What, jerko?!?!?!  
  
Crocodingo: YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF STOOGES!!! LATER!!! MUCH!!!  
  
Crash whips out a net and bags him just as he's about to shoot out the door again.  
  
Crash: OH, NO YA DON'T! NOT THIS TIME, BUCKO!  
  
Coco: Good job, Crash!  
  
Crash: Now gimme my money!!!  
  
Tawna: YOUR money?!?!?!  
  
Coco: It's MY money!!!  
  
Crash: YEAH! MY MONEY!!!  
  
Tawna: It's mine!  
  
Crash: REDRAW!!! And no tricks this time, Mr. Crocodingo!  
  
Crocodingo can talk again.  
  
Crocodingo: Okay... this time, the winner is...  
  
Tawna: Come on!  
  
Crash: Let me win!  
  
Coco: GTA, Strategy guide! GTA, Strategy guide! GTA, STRATEGY GUIDE!!!  
  
Crocodingo: TAWNA!!!!  
  
Coco and Crash: DOH!!  
  
Tawna: YES!!! I WIN, FAIR AND SQUARE!!!  
  
She whips out a catalog and the phone.  
  
Tawna: Now to order that Legend of Dragoon Strategy Guide and find out how to kill Lloyd!  
  
She dials 1-800-372-4666  
  
(1-800-DRAGOON)  
  
Tawna: Yes, I'd like to order your special "Legend of Dragoon" strategy guide... yes... yes.. got it... will do! Thanks!  
  
She hangs up.  
  
Tawna: The strategy guide will be here in...  
  
The Dunce Doorbell rings.  
  
Tawna: I GOT IT!!!  
  
She opens the door and does something with a UPS man. She returns with a thick book in her hands.  
  
Tawna: That was fast!  
  
She walks over to the Playstation and turns it on, since Dragoon is already in. She enters the door, skips the cinema, and faces Lloyd. This time she is reading while playing. She kills Lloyd, both Human and Dragoon, in no time flat.  
  
Tawna: I FINALLY DID IT!!!  
  
Crash: Cheater!!  
  
Coco: Yeah!  
  
Crocodingo: Arg!  
  
Tawna: Yeah, look who wanted to buy strategy guides for their own games!  
  
Crash: That is not true!  
  
Coco: Yeah!  
  
Crocodingo: Arg!  
  
Tawna: Then what DID ya wanna buy?  
  
Crash: Uh...  
  
Coco: Yeah! Uh, whoops, wrong time... I mean, mmm....  
  
Crocodingo: Arrrg...  
  
Tawna: See!  
  
Crash: Shut it, stooge!  
  
Tawna: DOH!!!!!!!  
  
Crocodingo: Arg?  
  
Crash: That stooge Tawna got mad 'cause I called her a stooge.  
  
Crocodingo: ARGARGARGARGARGARGARGARGARGARGARGARGARGARG!!!  
  
Crash: BWAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Coco: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Tawna: Grr...  
  
Crocodingo: ARGARGARGARGARGARGARGARGARGARGARGARGARGARG!!!  
  
Crash: BWAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Crocodingo: ARGARGARGARGARGARGARGARGARGARGARGARGARGARG!!!  
  
Coco: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Tawna: Grr...  
  
Crash: Hehehehe...  
  
Coco: Huh?  
  
Crocodingo: Grr...  
  
Tawna: Arg...  
  
Crash: BWAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Crocodingo: ARGARGARGARGARGARGARGARGARGARGARGARGARGARG!!!  
  
Coco: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Tawna: AAAAAAAAAGH!!!  
  
Coco: What are we laughing at again?  
  
Crash: A stooge called Tawna.  
  
Coco: Ooookaaaay....  
  
Crash: Who's up for a game of Monopoly?  
  
Coco: Me!  
  
Tawna: I!  
  
Crash: I'm in!  
  
Crocodingo: ARG!!!  
  
30 minutes later...  
  
Oh, man... Stupid traffic jam... hope I'm not way too late... HEY!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?!?!?  
  
Remember me? I'M THE NARRATOR!!!  
  
But I thought you got arrested!!  
  
I did!  
  
So what are you doing here???  
  
I BUSTED OUT!!!  
  
"Not for long!!!"  
  
Oh, no!  
  
Cop 90210: Ahh, Narratron! We've been looking for you.  
  
I get arrested again...  
  
DOH!!  
  
So, 30 minutes later...  
  
Crash: How many times have I told you, Crocodingo? YOU CAN'T BUY ALREADY-BOUGHT PROPERTIES!!!  
  
Crocodingo: ARG!!!  
  
Crash: You dare oppose me?  
  
Tawna: Oh, boy. Here we go again!  
  
Crash: Surrender, foolish mortal!!!  
  
Coco: WE'RE ALL MORTALS, STOOGE!!!  
  
Crash: WHAT?!?!?! HOW DARE YOU CALL ME, THE GREAT CRASH BANDICOOT, A STOOGE! YOU SHALL ALL FEEL MY WRATH!!  
  
Tawna: Better go look up the looneybin's number again...  
  
Crash: WHO ARE YOU CALLING LOONEY, FOOLISH MORTAL!!!  
  
Coco: QUICK, TAWNA!!! HE'S REALLY GONE OFF THE DEEP END THIS TIME!!!  
  
Tawna: I'M CALLIN' 'EM RIGHT NOW!!!  
  
She dials 1-800-566-6391  
  
(1-800-LOONEY1)  
  
Looneybin: Looney Tune Asylum. Bunny Bugs speaking.  
  
Tawna: Bunny! It's Tawna!  
  
Bunny: Oh, let me guess. Crash thinks he's a god again, right?  
  
Tawna: Yeah, but this time he's really gone crazy!  
  
Bunny: Well, then this ain't you're lucky day. All our asylum cars are out trying to catch a demented narrator... Narratron, I think it was... that's escaped from jail twice.  
  
WHAT?!?!?! OH, NO!!! SAVE ME!!!  
  
Tawna: Okay, then bye.  
  
Sh-sh-she... h-h-hangs... u-up!  
  
Tawna: Dang demented narrators!  
  
Coco: Ya don't have to worry. He's calmed down now.  
  
Crash: Whoa! Where were we? I got lost...  
  
Tawna: Forget Monopoly. Anybody wanna play Scrabble?  
  
Crash: Sure!  
  
Coco: I'll join!  
  
Crocodingo: Arg!  
  
Later...  
  
Tawna: It's your turn, Coco!  
  
Coco: Hold on! I'm thinkin', I'm thinkin'! Okay, I've got one! "Ain't"!  
  
She puts an A next to an I and above an R.  
  
Crash: You can't use that! Ain't isn't a word!  
  
Coco: Yes it is!  
  
She whips out a dictionary.  
  
Coco: Let's see... Ahh, here it is! Ain't: a non english WORD meaning "is not".  
  
Crash: Fine! If you can use Ain't, then I can use "Arf"!  
  
He puts an F under the R.  
  
Coco: No you can't! Arf isn't a word!  
  
Crash: Yes it is!  
  
Coco: Nope. There's Arm, Art, even Arg (the abbreviation for Argentina), but no Arf.  
  
Crash: IT'S GOT TO BE THERE!!!  
  
Coco: It's not!  
  
Crash: Say, what's the name for the sound something makes when it's about to kill you?  
  
Coco: Gulp!  
  
Crash: Sic 'er, Crocodingo!  
  
Crocodingo: ARG ARG ARG ARG ARG!!!!  
  
Coco: AAAAAAGH!!!  
  
Crash: YAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Tawna hits him over the head with a rolling pin  
  
Crash: OW! What'd I do?  
  
Tawna: Think real hard!  
  
Crash: I can't!  
  
Tawna: Oh yeah, that's right!  
  
Crash: Shut it, stooge!  
  
Tawna: Nope, not gonna say nothin'!  
  
Coco: Guys!  
  
She's standing next to the range, which is shaking and smoking.  
  
Coco: I was trying to bake cookies, but this oven's broken!  
  
Crash: Easy!  
  
He grabs a lamp and starts to smash the range. Tawna joins in with a chair.  
  
Coco: WAIT! HOLD IT!!! I'm not the type to interrupt, but if we start by TURNING OFF THE...  
  
Crash: Allow me!  
  
He yanks the temperature knob off.  
  
Crash: It is off. Am I good or what?  
  
The oven starts to whistle like a teapot.  
  
Coco: Is it me!?!? It's him, right?!?!  
  
Tawna: Boy, those cookies are gettin' crispy!  
  
The burners for the stove are blown off by the smoke.  
  
Crash: Wait! My brain is working!  
  
He hesitates for a bit, and then he lifts the oven up and hurls it into the wall. The oven door falls open, and the cookies fall out and burn through the ceiling.  
  
Coco: My cookies!  
  
She runs over to the place where the cookies fell.  
  
Coco: The ceiling!!!  
  
She looks at the oven, which is toasted beyond repair.  
  
Coco: THE OVEN!!!  
  
Crocodingo: Arg!  
  
He lifts Crash up and lays him outside the front door of Moron Manor. Crash starts to pound on the door.  
  
Crash: WILMA!!! Err, I mean TAWNA!!!!!  
  
He then runs off to look for the back door that doesn't exist. Tawna looks out the front door, dressed like Wilma Flinstone, looking for Crash. She shrugs her shoulders and walks back inside.  
  
Crash: Boy, am I sure stupid! Thinking there was a back door!  
  
He walks back through the now unlocked front door and lays on the couch.  
  
Crash: Whew! I'm pooped!  
  
Coco: Wanna watch TV?  
  
Tawna: Sure!  
  
They turn the tube on to find:  
  
Announcer: Tonight, on the late early movie, Out of here, Scared of There, by Ryan Seyersdahl!  
  
What new adventures will the morons face in the future? Find out in Crash Goes Stupid Three!!!  
  
Crash: Aww, it's a rerun!  
  
He shuts the tube off.  
  
No bandicoots were harmed in the making of this fic. Okay, so maybe three were. But no more than THREE!!!


	3. Crash Goes Stupid 3: Aww, it's a rerun!

Crash Goes Stupid 3 has long been hailed as the best in the saga. I'm SURE you'll love it, with a 100 money-back guarantee!   
  
------------------------------

Crash Goes Stupid 3: Aww, it's a rerun!  
  
By FakeNeoCrash a.k.a. FNC  
  
In the lair of Dr. Embryo...  
  
Embryo: Yes! To catch the bandicoot maniacs on the loose, I have created...  
  
He opens a large graffiti-ridden shutter to reveal the Rainbow-Matic 2000 Rainbow Maker: capable of catching and carrying anything that gets caught in the rainbow!  
  
Embryo: THIS THINGY!!!  
  
Suddenly, the lights go out, and the Rainbow-matic is seen moving. The lights turn back on, only to reveal that the invention is gone!  
  
Embryo: DARN YOU LEPRECHAUNS!!!  
  
Ladies and gents, it's time for....  
  
All of a sudden, we see a TV screen. Our well know idiots are staring at it like it's an idol.  
  
Crash: Aww, it's a rerun!  
  
Coco: ...CRASH GOES STUPID 2: STUPID THAN B4!!!  
  
Tawna: This is the part where those three idiots mutilate the script!  
  
Litle does Tawna know that the three idiots are actually themselves!  
  
But didn't you expect that?  
  
Ladies and germs... germs?  
  
Crash: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Director: Come back here!  
  
He chases the stooges, never to return...  
  
Director: I'LL BE BACK!  
  
Suddenly, the Terminator is seen beating the life out of him.  
  
Terminator: Oh, no you won't!  
  
Okay, I don't want the kids seeing this, so let's just cut to the chase.  
  
IT'S TIME FOR CRASH GOES STUPID THREE!! AWW, IT'S A RERUN!  
  
We open to see the idiots still locked onto the TV. Crash suddenly steals the remote from Tawna.  
  
Crash: Gimme that! Dagger Babes is coming on!  
  
Tawna: No way! I'm watching Fishbowl VII!!!  
  
Coco: Forget you two! I'm gonna watch Minjen Doko Men Ima Awto Stinga!  
  
Crash and Tawna: IN ENGLISH!!  
  
Coco: SERPENTSPHERE X!  
  
Crash: That's stupid!  
  
Coco: And like Dagger Babes isn't?!  
  
Tawna: Well, you two fight on, 'cause I've been wanting to see that movie for weeks now!  
  
Coco: What is it besides a bunch of fish swimming around in water?  
  
Tawna: Fish are cool!  
  
Coco is suddenly seen with a heat source and a visor. SAhe starts to mingle with the TV.  
  
Crash: What are you doing?  
  
Coco: I'm making this TV block out Dagger Babes AND ANY stupid Fishbowl movies!  
  
Crash and Tawna: NOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Coco: That brainless rubbish will deteriorate your minds!  
  
Crash: Brainless rubbish not deteriorate mind!  
  
Tawna: Garbage good for Tawna.  
  
Coco: Oh, dear. It's already started!  
  
Crash: What?  
  
All of a sudden, the evil Dr. Neo Cortex busts through the front door of Moron Manor.  
  
Cortex: FREEZE!!!  
  
Crash: Huh? Hubba hubba moojah?  
  
Coco: Mok mok yap yap blah blah dribble dribble dribble!  
  
Tawna: Cockamaligamschmit jo or yap yap dribble!  
  
Cortex: WHAT? I can't understand a word you're saying!  
  
Crash: BLAH BLAH YAP!  
  
Tawna: Dribble yap blah!  
  
Coco: Jok?  
  
Cortex: You guys are wierd! You belong in here!  
  
He runs out the doors, closes them, and turns them into Swiss Cheese.  
  
Now it is proven that the idiots speak idiot!  
  
Crash: Yap yap blah? (What was that all about?)  
  
Coco: Lom tox yat. (I don't know)  
  
Tawna: Cockaligamin menjo haw gart yap yap blah dribble! (I couldn't understand a word he was saying!)  
  
Note that if you can translate what the idiots are saying, you are an idiot yourself! You can know if you're translating it if there are parentheses with English words inside next to the idiot language.  
  
Suddenly, the Dunce Doorbell rings.  
  
Crash: I GOT IT!!!  
  
Coco: You can't!  
  
Crash: Why not?  
  
Tawna: THE DOORS ARE SWISS CHEESE!!!  
  
Crash: Then eat it!  
  
Tawna: ARE YOU CRAZY??? I HATE SWISS CHEESE!!!!!  
  
Coco: I'm allergic to it!  
  
Crash: I'm lactose intolerant!  
  
Coco: Uh oh...  
  
Tawna: We're in a pickle!  
  
We see Moron Manor floating in a pickle.  
  
Crash: I GOT IT!!!  
  
Coco: NO YOU DON'T!!!  
  
Crash: No, I mean I know how to solve our problem!  
  
Coco: And how will you do that?  
  
He then pulls out the one and only...  
  
Crash: CROCODINGO!!!  
  
Crocodingo: Arg arg arg!  
  
Crash: Go eat the Swiss Cheese, Crocodingo!  
  
Crocodingo: ARG!!!  
  
He dashes to the door and starts to inhale the Swiss Cheese. We now see five people who could pass for Cortex, Tropy, Bero, Tiny, and N. Gin, but it's not them....  
  
Crash: Who are you?  
  
Cortex dude: Finally! Someone we can understand!  
  
Tropy guy: Someone that speaks our language!  
  
Crash: Hey! WE CAN UNDERSTAND YOU, TOO!  
  
Coco: Who are you?  
  
N.Gin weirdo: Well, to make a long story short...  
  
Idiots: WE'RE THE COPY RATS!!!  
  
Cat: Meow!  
  
Crash: Hey! Weren't you guys in that fic,  
  
TV: OUT OF HERE, SCARED OF THERE!!! BY RYAN SEYERSDAHL!!!  
  
Crash: Aww, it's a rerun!  
  
Coco: I can identify each of you!  
  
She first points to The Cortex dude.  
  
Coco: You're Trepy!  
  
Cortex dude: Uh...  
  
Next, she points to the Tropy guy.  
  
Coco: You're Teeny!  
  
Tropy guy: HEY!  
  
N.Gin weirdo...  
  
Coco: Bero!  
  
N. Gin weirdo: Wait a...  
  
Brio Wacko...  
  
Coco: CERTOX!!!  
  
Brio Wacko: It's a...  
  
And finally the Cat.  
  
Coco: AND ENJIN!!!  
  
Cat: ...meow???  
  
Cortex dude: No, wait. To make things clearer... I'm Certox,  
  
N.Gin Weirdo: I'm Enjin...  
  
Brio Wacko: I'm Bero...  
  
Tropy guy: I'm Trepy...  
  
Cat: Meow meow. (And I'm Teeny!)  
  
Coco: I knew that.  
  
Tawna: I can't believe it's actually you!  
  
Trepy: Now, about why we're here...  
  
Coco: You want to give us your autographs? SWEET!  
  
Crash: YEAH!!!  
  
Tawna: DUUUUUUUUDE!  
  
Enjin: No, that's not it...  
  
Coco: Oh, so ya wanna give us free merchandise!  
  
Crash: YEAH, BUDDY!!!  
  
Tawna: ALRIGHT!!!  
  
Certox: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Suddenly, the movie is interrupted by a special news broadcast.  
  
TV Reporter: Ladies and gentlemen, we have serious breaking news! The Empire State Building, the Sears Tower, and Big Ben have all collapsed foir no reason at all! And they did it at exactly the same time! This just in! All of London seems to be under a radioactive attack by a group of terrorists never seen on this planet!!! And now the Egyptian Pyramids have been vaporized by alien UFOs! Newest news: Zombies seem to be rising from the former location of the Twin Towers and eating the brains out of all its citizens! You should see it now!  
  
The news shows a picture that looks like it was taken from Resident Evil. Zombies are running around the streets in large crowds. It seems like half the population of New York is running around as the living dead.  
  
Reporter: The world is in sheer panic! This madness could be the end of all of humankind!  
  
Suddenly, everything in the Manor turns off. A small electrical sound is heard.  
  
Crash: Well, better go check the sattelite!  
  
Coco: But we don't have a sattelite!  
  
Crash: Okay!  
  
He walks through the Swiss Cheese and is heard climbing onto the roof.  
  
Tawna: What a moron!  
  
Coco: Now, about that free stuff...  
  
Everything in the Manor mentioned earlier starts to go beserk.  
  
Bero: Where's your circuit breaker?  
  
Coco: In the basement. But watch out for the wild alligators.  
  
Bero: Gulp... alligators?  
  
Tawna: Yes. We found 'em and kept 'em!  
  
Coco: They were stray!  
  
Bero: Oh, boy. Well, I'll try to fix the circuit breaker without getting killed.  
  
Bero's thoughts: Cool! Maybe I should try that!  
  
He goes down to check the breaker, but sees nothing wrong. Meanwhile....  
  
Trepy: Do you guys have any snacks?  
  
Tawna: Sure do! Let me lead you to them!  
  
She walks off to the kitchen. Crash is heard coming down from the roof.  
  
Crash: Nothing was wrong with the sattelite!  
  
Coco: But we don't have a sattelite!  
  
Crash: Okay!  
  
Everything shuts off again, and then turns back on. Nothing bizarre is happening anymore.  
  
Coco: I guess Bero fixed the problem!  
  
Certox: I'll go check on him. Crash, come with me!  
  
Crash: Why?  
  
Certox: JUST DO IT!  
  
Crash: OKAAAAAAAAY!!!!  
  
They walk down the stairs to the basement. Meanwhile, upstairs...  
  
Coco: Hey, Enjin! Do you and Teeny wanna go with me to meet Tawna and Trepy in the kitchen with the munchies?  
  
Enjin: I guess...  
  
Teeny: Meow...  
  
Coco: Okay.  
  
They walk into the kitchen. Then they walk out with panic on their faces. Crash and Certox dash up the stairs with that same look.  
  
Coco: GUYS! YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE THIS!!!  
  
Certox: We have a wild story too!  
  
Coco: You first!  
  
Certox: BERO IS GONE!!!  
  
Enjin: So are Trepy and Tawna:  
  
Crash: NOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Suddenly, everything turns off and on. Tawna, Trepy, and Bero are all there again, with beat looks on their faces.  
  
Crash: Where were you guys?  
  
Trepy: In another dimension!  
  
Coco: But you were only gone for 25 seconds!  
  
Bero: It's a long story!  
  
(To find out what the three stooges did on their little trip, please read "The Dumb-Ension." Also included in this special DVD!)  
  
Certox: Seeing that this place is cursed, we'll be going now.  
  
Enjin: WHAT?!?!?! ALL THAT AND WE STILL DIDN'T GET OUR CUP OF SUGAR?!?!?! YOU IMBASSIL!!!  
  
They exit with Enjin screaming the whole way.  
  
Crash: Whew! I'm sure glad that's done!  
  
Coco: Ack!  
  
Crash: Well, I'm heading to the bedroom. If ya need me, I'll be there.  
  
Tawna: Okay!  
  
Crash heads up and crashes on the bed. He closes his eyes and begins to daydream....  
  
We now see Crash, who is now about 5 years old, standing and laughing his head off in front of a burning building. In his left hand he is holding a newspaper. The headline "CRASH CRASHES SIXTH SCHOOL THIS WEEK!!!" is circled in red.  
  
Young Crash: BWAHAHAHAHA!!! I AM THE SUPREME RULER OF THIS CITY! N.SANITY SHALL FEEL MY WRATH!!!  
  
Teacher: Oh, really?  
  
Crash: Uh oh...  
  
Teacher: And what do you have to say for yourself?  
  
Crash: Uhhh... I didn't do it?  
  
He wakes up from his dream.  
  
Crash: Whoa...  
  
He then daydreams again. This time he is in a classroom, now about 13.  
  
Teacher: You're darn right you didn't do it!  
  
Crash: Well...  
  
Teacher: In fact, you've only done 1 assignment this entire semester! Now march right down to that principal's office!  
  
He slams the class door behind him. He then sees a foreign exchange student who looks like he's Spanish.  
  
Crash: Hehehehehehehehe! Hey, kid!  
  
Spanish Kid: Huh? Me speak almost no English.  
  
Crash: Oh. Well, el follow me!  
  
Crash leads the kid to a fire alarm lever.  
  
Crash: Pull this and you'll open a secret classroom!  
  
Kid: Oh, mucho gracias!  
  
He's about to pull it when Crash's teacher walks up.  
  
Teacher: So, leading another foreign exchange student to the magical entrance to the secret classroom, eh?  
  
Crash: Aw, man!  
  
He wakes up again.  
  
Crash: Oh....  
  
He daydreams again. This time, he's about 21. He's inside a movie set.  
  
Director: Okay, Crush, it goes like this...  
  
Crash: For the last time! You've got the wrong guy! I'm Crash, not Crush or whatever you call him!  
  
Director: Oooookaaay... anyways...  
  
Crash: AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!! NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME!!!  
  
Director: THAT'S PERFECT!!!  
  
Crash: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!  
  
Crash wakes up yet again.  
  
Crash: Man. What a life I had in the past. It makes me glad I'm the idiot I am today!  
  
Voice: Oh, really?  
  
Crash turns around to see his teacher standing there.  
  
Crash: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!  
  
Crash wakes up.  
  
Crash: Whew! I hate double dreams! I'm getting outta here!  
  
He walks down the stairs to the Living Room. Coco, Crocodingo, and Tawna are sitting at the coffee table.  
  
Coco: Hey, Crash! You're just in time!  
  
Tawna: We're about to play Parcheesi. Care to join us?  
  
Crocodingo: Arg?  
  
Crash: Okay, I guess...  
  
Half an hour later...  
  
Coco: You and your stupid ideas, Tawna! This is indeed the Parcheesiest game I've ever played in my life!  
  
Tawna: You're the one who was begging me to play it so bad!  
  
Crash: WILL YOU GUYS JUST SHUT UP?!?!?!?!?!  
  
The girls look at him with astonished looks on their faces.  
  
Crash: Sorry about that. It's just about what I was doing up there in my room.  
  
Coco: So?  
  
Crash: I was thinking about my distant past, and got somewhat depressed.  
  
Tawna is now sitting in a psychiatrist's chair.  
  
Tawna: And?  
  
Crash: Well, I was remembering the days when I was just an average bandicoot. I had no trace of stupidity in my mind whatsoever. But now, ever since Dr. Embryo failed that experiment, I just haven't felt like... myself.  
  
Tawna: Okay, go on...  
  
Crash: And now I think that my stupidity is wearing off, like I'm turning back into my normal self. Like this idiocy is just a sickness I've had, and now I'm healing from it....  
  
Tawna: So?  
  
Crash: But I still want to be stupid! I mean, some of my happiest memories are during the short 2-month period that I was a moron. If I become normal, I won't be able to understand you guys anymore. I won't feel right here in Moron Manor. I'll literally be exiled from your group. And when I was normal, nobody understood me. But, now I'm beginning to wonder...  
  
Tawna: What?  
  
Crash: Did Embryo really fail the experiment? I'm beginning to think that this stupidity just happened to awaken at the time of the experiment, causing a sort of backfire in the system. And the backfire also relayed to your minds, causing you two to become idiots like me.  
  
Tawna: Oh...  
  
Crash: But I've learned something. I've learned that I'm the only one that has the ability to regain my former knowledge and become normal. Since you two became stupid by accident, I'm afraid you don't have the same ability, so when I change back into my former self, you guys won't. You guys will be idiots forever. But I don't want to leave you. I mean, we've grown a sort of bond between us. It has just been the four of us. You, Coco, Crocodingo, and myself. It makes me want to cry thinking we'll be separated very soon. In fact, I could return to being normal in as little time as 5 minutes!  
  
Tawna: Huh? Bana mexa loc ma dribble blah yap!  
  
Crash: NO! IT'S ALREADY HAPPENED!  
  
Tawna: Blah yap blah dribble lok!  
  
Coco: Drab mib drap blah.  
  
Crocodingo: Log.  
  
Crash: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Crash wakes up.  
  
Crash: Where am I?  
  
Crash looks around.  
  
Crash: Whew. It was only a dream.  
  
Tawna: Crash!!! Are you okay up there?  
  
Crash: Are you making gravy?!  
  
Tawna: No. Whoever said I was?  
  
Crash: Just wondering!  
  
Tawna: WHAT???  
  
Crash: Nothing!  
  
Tawna: No, you just said something!  
  
Crash: I said are you making... wait a minute! FNC almost fooled us again!  
  
FNC: Aw, poopy! I almost did it, too!  
  
Crash: Sorry, Slim. Not today.  
  
Crash walks out of the room and meets Tawna and Coco downstairs.  
  
Crash: Boy, did I just find something out.  
  
Coco: What?  
  
Crash: Spending an extended period of time inside one's own bedroom can be physically dangerous and mentally harmful.  
  
Tawna: What's he talking about?  
  
Coco: It seems that Crash's tired state has seemed to have caused an intellectual flare! I'm quite astounded!  
  
Tawna: CRASH! Is that you?  
  
Crash: Hug me!  
  
Coco: That didn't last long!  
  
Crash: HUG!  
  
He hugs Coco and Tawna.  
  
Coco: Okay, okay!  
  
Tawna: We get your point!  
  
Crash: What point?  
  
Tawna: I wish SOMETHING would go right today!  
  
A cardboard box with wheels attached to the bottom runs her over.  
  
Tawna: Hello!  
  
Crash: Aw, man. This is bad!  
  
Coco: You feel the same way?  
  
Crash: Yes!  
  
Coco: Yes. How strange!  
  
They pause for a moment.  
  
Crash and Coco: Last one to the kitchen is a rotten egg!  
  
They dash off. Tawna gets up.  
  
Tawna: Wait! Come back! 'Cause that's my pancake!  
  
She staggers off in the opposite direction. Crash pops out just as Tawna has wandered into the laundry room.  
  
Crash: Oh, Tawna! Where are you?  
  
Coco: Oh, not again!  
  
Tawna: WHOOOOOOAAAA!!!  
  
Coco: Tawna!  
  
Crash: Let's go get her!  
  
They run to the laundry room. Tawna is stuck in the washing machine.  
  
Tawna: I was checking to see if any clothes were left in, and it shut on me and I'm locked in!  
  
Crash: Uh oh...  
  
Coco: With proper greasing the door should just slide open!  
  
Crash: But where will we get some grease?  
  
Coco: Dish soap should work fine!  
  
Crash: Glad I thought of it! We'll soap up the door and get Tawna to worship us!  
  
Coco: That wasn't my plan!  
  
They walk off to the kitchen.  
  
Tawna: Hurry! This thing could start at any moment!  
  
In the kitchen...  
  
Crash and Coco are searching for dish soap in the cluttered kitchen. Coco is in front of the shelf with the soap.  
  
Coco: How anybody could find dish soap in this mess is beyond me!  
  
She looks at it.  
  
Coco: Ah, there you are!  
  
Crash: Ah, there you are!  
  
He pulls out the sink.  
  
Crash: Weird bottle, huh?  
  
Coco: What? AGAIN?!?!?!  
  
Crash: It's only the third time this week!  
  
Coco: THAT'S IT!!!  
  
She starts to pummel the life out of Crash. Tawna walks in.  
  
Tawna: And exactly what is going on here?  
  
Coco: WHOA!!! WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!?!?!  
  
Crash suddenly has a heat radiator in his hand.  
  
Crash: Can I make a tree fort out if this?  
  
Tawna: Crash, where did you procure that heat radiator?  
  
Crash: Over there.  
  
He drops the radiator on Coco's foot and points to a hole in the wall.  
  
Coco: Ow!  
  
A pipe is leaking steam.  
  
Tawna: WHOA! QUICK, SOMEBODY! SHUT IT OFF! SHUT IT OFF!!!  
  
Crash: I got it!  
  
He shoves the sing into the pipe.  
  
Crash: Fixed!  
  
Tawna: No, Crash! NO!!!!  
  
She toys with the sink, but finds it's jammed.  
  
Tawna: Oh well. Good enough for now.  
  
The girls and Crocodingo all walk over to the coffee table and sit down.  
  
Tawna: Do you guys wanna play a game?  
  
Coco: I guess, but what?  
  
Tawna: How about Parcheesi?  
  
Coco: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!! LET'S PLAY THAT!!  
  
Tawna: Okay.  
  
Crash stares in awe as Tawna retrieves the game and sets it up on the table.  
  
Tawna: Care to join us?  
  
Crocodingo: Arg?  
  
Crash: Okay, I guess...  
  
Half an hour later...  
  
Coco: You and your stupid ideas, Tawna! This is indeed the Parcheesiest game I've ever played in my life!  
  
Tawna: You're the one who was begging me to play it so bad!  
  
Crash: WILL YOU GUYS JUST SHUT UP?!?!?!?!?!  
  
The girls look at him with astonished looks on their faces.  
  
Tawna: Geez!  
  
Crash: Oh, no!  
  
Coco: What?  
  
Crash: This is exactly what happened in my dream up there!  
  
Tawna: So you mean FNC tricked us again?  
  
Crash: No. This is different. It's a long story. But let's continue, okay?  
  
Coco: Yeah, let's continue this super Parcheesi game!  
  
Tawna: SHUT IT!  
  
Half an hour later...  
  
Coco: What is with you, Tawna? You only keep sending my guys back to start!  
  
Tawna: Well, sooooorry! It's not my fault it's the only thing I can do!  
  
Crash: My turn!  
  
He rolls two twos (no, he doesn't roll dresses, although that would be an interesting gag). Since his last piece only has four spaces to move till home, he moves his guy into home.  
  
Crash: I WIN!  
  
Coco: Still undefeated!  
  
Crocodingo: ARG!  
  
Tawna: Yeah, sure, whatever. mumbles: Cheater.  
  
Crash: Excuse me? Is there something you'd like to share?  
  
Tawna: Uh, no.  
  
Crash: Good, 'cause we're playing Yahtzee now!  
  
Coco: NOOOOOO! Not that!  
  
Crash: And we're watching Dagger Babes while playing!  
  
Tawna: We can't.  
  
Crash: And why not?  
  
Tawna: Remember? Coco blocked that and Fishbowl out.  
  
Coco: So we're watching Serpentsphere X!  
  
Tawna: Great!  
  
Later still....  
  
Coco: Ha! YAHTZEE!!!  
  
Tawna: Not again!  
  
Coco: Well, that's a bonus 50 points!  
  
Crash: This game's stupid! You always win!  
  
Tawna: Just like you always win Parcheesi?  
  
Coco: Hey! You always beat us at Scrabble!  
  
Tawna: So?  
  
Crash: This is getting very stupid!  
  
Suddenly, Moprob Circleshorts comes on.  
  
Moprob: IIIIIIII'M READYYYYYY!!!  
  
Coco: Hey, what happened to the 12-hour-marathon of Serpentsphere X?  
  
Crash: It's over!  
  
Coco: It can't be! That's not fair!  
  
Tawna: Life isn't fair.  
  
Crash: That's not fair!  
  
Tawna: Geez.  
  
Coco: Oh well.  
  
She shuts it off.  
  
Coco: Hey, guess what?  
  
Crash: What?  
  
Coco: I FINALLY BEAT THE TANK MISSION ON GTA2!!  
  
Tawna: Yay.  
  
Crash: We're so happy for you!  
  
Coco: So, anybody wanna go to Eat n' Gas?  
  
Tawna: Well, I guess so.  
  
Crash: The let's go!  
  
20 seconds after they leave Moron Manor, we hear a hideous scream.  
  
AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!  
  
What moronic things have the morons done at this moronic moment? Find out in the moronic next story to the never ending saga of the morons, Crash Goes Stupid Four! Stupidity should be...  
  
An anvil falls on my foot.  
  
OOOOOOOWW!!! Painful!  
  
Whew! I'm glad that's over!  
  
Boss: Okay, now just 9 million, nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-six fictions to go!  
  
Oh, great! This is all thanks to that jerk !  
  
Boss: But he wasn't even in this fic!  
  
Exactly!  
  
Boss: Whatever. This is getting deducted from your pay!  
  
DOH! WHY I OUGHTA...  
  
Boss: Don't make me!  
  
I'll be quiet!


	4. The Dumbension

This technically doesn't count as a CGS title, but it is related. This is the story of what happened to Tawna, Trepy, and Bero in CGS3 when the house went crazy. Enjoy lots!  
  
--------------------------------

The Dumb-Ension  
  
What happened to Bero, Trepy, and Tawna in Crash Goes Stupid 3.  
  
By FNC  
  
Previously in Moron Manor...  
  
The Copy Rats Bero, Certox, Trepy, Enjin, and Teeny were chatting with bandistooges Crash Coco and Tawna when suddenly, the movie that was on the TV was interrupted by a special news broadcast.  
  
TV Reporter: Ladies and gentlemen, we have serious breaking news! The Empire State Building, the Sears Tower, and Big Ben have all collapsed for no reason at all! And they did it at exactly the same time! This just in! All of London seems to be under a radioactive attack by a group of terrorists never seen on this planet!!! And now the Egyptian Pyramids have been vaporized by alien UFOs! Newest news: Zombies seem to be rising from the former location of the Twin Towers and eating the brains out of all its citizens! You should see it now!  
  
The news showed a picture that looked like it was taken from Resident Evil. Zombies were running around the streets in large crowds. It seemed like half the population of New York was running around as the living dead.  
  
Reporter: The world is in sheer panic! This madness could be the end of all of humankind!  
  
Suddenly, everything in the Manor turned off. A small electrical sound was heard.  
  
Crash: Well, better go check the sattelite!  
  
Coco: But we don't have a sattelite!  
  
Crash: Okay!  
  
He walked through the Swiss Cheese and was heard climbing onto the roof.  
  
Tawna: What a moron!  
  
Coco: Now, about that free stuff...  
  
Everything in the Manor mentioned earlier started to go beserk.  
  
Bero: Where's your circuit breaker?  
  
Coco: In the basement. But watch out for the wild alligators.  
  
Bero: Gulp... alligators?  
  
Tawna: Yes. We found 'em and kept 'em!  
  
Coco: They were stray!  
  
Bero: Oh, boy. Well, I'll try to fix the circuit breaker without getting killed.  
  
Bero's thoughts: Cool! Maybe I should try that!  
  
He went down to check the breaker, but saw nothing wrong. Meanwhile....  
  
Trepy: Do you guys have any snacks?  
  
Tawna: Sure do! Let me lead you to them!  
  
She walked off to the kitchen. Crash was heard coming down from the roof.  
  
Crash: Nothing was wrong with the sattelite!  
  
Coco: But we don't have a sattelite!  
  
Crash: Okay!  
  
Everything shut off again, and then turned back on. Nothing bizarre was happening anymore.  
  
Coco: I guess Bero fixed the problem!  
  
Certox: I'll go check on him. Crash, come with me!  
  
Crash: Why?  
  
Certox: JUST DO IT!  
  
Crash: OKAAAAAAAAY!!!!  
  
They walked down the stairs to the basement. Meanwhile, upstairs...  
  
Coco: Hey, Enjin! Do you and Teeny wanna go with me to meet Tawna and Trepy in the kitchen with the munchies?  
  
Enjin: I guess...  
  
Teeny: Meow...  
  
Coco: Okay.  
  
They walked into the kitchen. Then they walked out with panic on their faces. Crash and Certox dashed up the stairs with that same look.  
  
Coco: GUYS! YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE THIS!!!  
  
Certox: We have a wild story too!  
  
Coco: You first!  
  
Certox: BERO IS GONE!!!  
  
Enjin: So are Trepy and Tawna!  
  
Crash: NOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
What happened to the three idiots? Where did they go? And why did they disappear? Find out in...  
  
CRASH GOES STUPID: THE DUMB-ENSION!!!  
  
Starring the following idiots:  
  
Tawna Bandicoot  
  
Copy Rat Bero  
  
Copy Rat Trepy  
  
Billy Proton  
  
Johnny Electron  
  
Word of a secret cousin Jimmy Neutron.  
  
and Dr. Deville, my least favorite guy.  
  
Dr. Deville: Watch it, bub!  
  
This fic starts in an interdimensional time tunnel. Tawna looks like she's about to...  
  
Tawna: BLAWF!  
  
...ralf!  
  
Tawna: Hurloblaw!  
  
Trepy: Yuck!  
  
Bero: Eww, it's all over me!  
  
Tawna: Sorry, B...b...blaugh!  
  
Bero: Who's blaugh?  
  
Tawna: None of your b...b...bwa!!!  
  
Trepy: Watch it! This blue paint is sensitive!  
  
Tawna: Well, ooooooooooooooh it ain't my fault!  
  
Trepy: Did I do that?  
  
Tawna: It ain't my fault!  
  
Trepy: Did I do that?  
  
Tawna: It ain't my fault?  
  
Trepy: Did I...  
  
Bero: STOOOOOOOP!!!  
  
Trepy: That's not how it goes!  
  
Bero: No, I mean STOOOOOOOP!!! as in STOOOOOOOP!!! That song is so annoying!  
  
Trepy: STOOOOOOOP!!!  
  
Tawna: Stwak!!!  
  
Bero and Trepy: STOOOOOOOP!!!  
  
Tawna: Well...  
  
Trepy: STOOOOOOOP!!!  
  
Bero: She was...  
  
Tawna: STOOOOOOOP!!!  
  
Trepy: But...  
  
Bero: STOOOOOOOP!!!  
  
Tawna: I was only...  
  
Trepy: No ifs ands or buts about it!  
  
Tawna: But...  
  
Trepy: BAH!  
  
Bero: Well...  
  
Trepy: MEH!  
  
Tawna: ...  
  
Trepy: BEH!  
  
Bero: ...  
  
Trepy: MAH! Hey, there's a light up ahead!  
  
Bero: Should I get out my parachute?  
  
Trepy: No! You don't need it!  
  
Bero: Okay!  
  
He pulls out a pair of black boots.  
  
Trepy: Not pair of boots! Parachute!  
  
Bero: Oh!  
  
He puts the boots away and pulls out a green parakeet.  
  
Bero: Here!  
  
Trepy: NOT PARAKEET! PARA-  
  
BOOOOM! They crash into a brick wall.  
  
Trepy: ...medic!  
  
Tawna: I think my head's broken!  
  
Bero: Naw, that thick skull of yours offers too much protection!  
  
Tawna: Ohh.... hey!  
  
Voice: Welcome....  
  
Voice: To HECK!!!  
  
Voice 1: Johnny!  
  
Johnny: Well, it's the truth!  
  
Voice 1: That's no way to treat our guests!  
  
Johnny: Oh, shut up, Billy!  
  
The idiots peel off the wall and land on carpet. They stand up to see hundreds of monitors surrounding them, each with a news broadcast or computer data on it.  
  
Monitor 67: The Eiffel Tower has been obliterated!  
  
Monitor 182: The Leaning Tower of Pisa has sunk into the ground!  
  
Monitor 24: Mount Everest has been reduced to three fourths of its original size in just 5 seconds!  
  
Monitor 395: Onions? No, Ed, we're smarter than... Buttered toast?? The bus driver?  
  
Billy: Whoops... wrong channel!  
  
He whips out a remote and zaps it to CNN67.  
  
Monitor 395: The Grand Canyon has been mysteriously been filled with sulfuric acid and is no longer safe to even go near!  
  
Trepy: So... who are you?  
  
Billy: I'm Billy Proton, and this here is my idiot...  
  
Johnny: Hey!  
  
Billy: Whoops! I mean, brother, Johnny Electron!  
  
Johnny: Hello! Who's there?  
  
Bero: Yeah, right!  
  
Tawna: I know who you are! You're evil space leeches disguised as scientists who have brought us to your alien planet to suck the knowledge out of our brains and gain useful information about our planet Earth!  
  
You don't even have a brain, much less any knowledge inside it!  
  
Tawna: Shut it!  
  
Billy: Are you sure these are the right ones?  
  
Johnny: Sure am with a sack of potatoes!  
  
Billy: Really. Then WHY do they think we're space leeches?!?!?!  
  
Johnny: I dunno!  
  
Billy: ARGH!!! Let me ask you guys one thing. Are you three peoples' names Jesse, James, and Meowth?  
  
Trepy: You mean those idiots from Pokemon?  
  
Billy: Whoops! Wrong names... I mean Tawnu, Tropy, and Brio?  
  
Idiots: Hey! I know them!  
  
Tawna: But unfortunately, we're not them. I'm Tawna.  
  
Bero: I'm Bero.  
  
Trepy: And I'm Ed!  
  
Tawna and Bero: Trepy!  
  
Trepy: Whoops, I mean Trepy!  
  
Billy: Oh...  
  
He says that in an especially loud tone of voice.  
  
Billy: whispering Johnny, remind me to hurt you once these guys are gone!  
  
Johnny: Whoops! Okee dokee!  
  
BONUS: IF YOU CAN TELL HOW MANY TIMES "WHOOPS!" HAS BEEN SAID WITHOUT LOOKING BACK, YOU WILL GAIN ACCESS TO A SECRET WEB SITE THAT ONLY 15 PEOPLE HAVE BEEN LUCKY ENOUGH TO ACCESS! ...ladee dadee dah... boop boop boop... skiddley dah dah dah! Nope, didn't think so. Nice try! No top secret site for you!  
  
Billy: So, hopefully, you people will still be able to help us!  
  
Trepy: Us? Help space aliens? I don't think so!  
  
Johnny: But we're not space aliens!  
  
Trepy: No ifs, ands, or buts!  
  
Billy: But...  
  
Trepy: BAH!  
  
Johnny: We're...  
  
Trepy: MEH!  
  
Billy: He...  
  
Trepy: BEH!  
  
Johnny: ...  
  
Trepy: MAH!  
  
Johnny: Weird!  
  
Trepy: You are!  
  
Billy: If.  
  
Johnny: And.  
  
Billy and Johnny: AND BUT!!!  
  
Trepy: DOH!  
  
Johnny: One, two, three...  
  
Billy and Johnny: NOT A SPACE ALIEN!  
  
Johnny: NOT A SPACE ALIEN! HAH, BILLY! YOU'RE THE SPACE ALIEN! HE'S THE ONE YOU WANT! HE'S THE ALIEN!  
  
Billy: I'm not!  
  
Tawna: Yeah, so Jimmy cracked corn and I care?  
  
Johnny: They can't know about our distant cousin, Jimmy Neutron!  
  
Billy: Unless...  
  
Johnny and Billy: THEY'RE INTERNATIONAL SPIES!!!  
  
Billy: Get them!  
  
Tawna: AAAAAAAH!  
  
Bero: Hey, isn't that what that guy Crocodingo says?  
  
Trepy: No, that's "Arg"!  
  
Bero: Arg!  
  
Billy: Arg!  
  
Tawna: Arg!  
  
Johnny: Arg!  
  
Trepy: Arg!  
  
Billy: Arg!   
  
Tawna: Arg!  
  
Johnny: Arg!  
  
Bero: AAAAAAAGH!  
  
Trepy: No, Bero. It's "Arg". In the back of the throat!  
  
Bero: I know that! What I mean is AAAAAAAAAAGH! as in AAAAAAAAAAGH! THERE'S A HUGE UGLY BALD GUY IN MONITOR 314!!!  
  
Johnny: It's our worst enemy, the evil Dr. Deville!  
  
Billy: AAAAAGH!  
  
Tawna: AAAAAGH!  
  
Bero: AAAAAGH!  
  
Trepy: AAAAAGH!  
  
Johnny: AAAAAGH!  
  
Tawna: AAAAAGH! No, wait. I already screamed like a little pansy, didn't I?  
  
Bero: No.  
  
Tawna: Oh, then AAAAAGH!  
  
Trepy: STOOOOOOGE!  
  
Tawna: DOH! I guess I didn't tell you, but I don't like being called a stooge!  
  
Trepy: Okay stooge!  
  
Tawna: DOH!  
  
Deville: Look at you foolish mortals, frolicking about in your little fantasy world, caring less about the evil I am unleashing on the world!  
  
Bero: Like a dog?  
  
Deville: No. LIKE EVIL!!!  
  
Tawna: You sound just like Crash when he's acting like a god!  
  
Deville: I know not this Crash. Perhaps you have been eating too many space slugs!  
  
Tawna: No, you weed. Crash is my brother!  
  
Deville: Oh.  
  
Trepy: WAIT A MINUTE! YOU'RE SANTA!!!  
  
Deville: Huh? What are you talking about?  
  
Trepy: SANTA!!! I LOOOOOVE YOU!!!  
  
He runs towards the monitor in which Deville is on.  
  
Deville: No, wait, I'm not who you think I am!  
  
Too late. Trepy has already started to yap about his list.  
  
Trepy: Hey, Santa! Guess what? I want a shiny red bike with a shiny pinwheel and horn, and I want a Playstation 2, and I want Crash Bash and Spyro 3 and Jak and Daxter and Megaman Legends, and...  
  
Tawna: Here we go again!  
  
Trepy: And...  
  
Half an hour later...  
  
Trepy: ...and the Teisel Bonne action figure, not the one with the rocket launchers, the one with the bazooka, and I also want a new Magnavix TV, and...  
  
Bero: Make him stop!  
  
Deville: SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!  
  
Trepy: Santa! I wasn't finished!  
  
Deville: I... underestimated you... Billy Proton and Johnny Electron... I never dreamed... you'd defeat me... with stupidity! You win... I will... retreat... and set the world... back to normal! JUST GET THIS FREAK OUT OF MY SIGHT!!!  
  
The monitor goes blank. Everyone besides Trepy is cheering.  
  
Johnny: YAY! YOU DID IT!  
  
Trepy: ...  
  
Billy: What's wrong, Trepy?  
  
He turns to them with fiery eyes.  
  
Trepy: YOU SCARED AWAY SANTA CLAUS! YOU SHALL PAY FOR THE INJUSTICE YOU HAVE CAUSED ME!!!  
  
He leaps like a tiger towards Billy and tries to rip him apart!  
  
Billy: HELP!! GET HIM OFF! GET HIM OFF!!! AAAAAAAGH!!!  
  
He is laying on the floor as dead as a doornail. There's a huge red spot near his chest on his white lab coat.  
  
Johnny: BILLY!!!  
  
He runs over to Billy.  
  
Tawna: Aww, geez...  
  
Bero: Not another one of those idiotic death scenes they put in fics like these!  
  
Johnny: Billy! Speak to me, Billy! SPEAK TO ME!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Billy: Aghhh...  
  
Johnny: BILLY! YOU'RE ALIVE!  
  
Billy: Of course. But that idiot exploded the pack of ketchup hidden in the secret pocket of my coat!  
  
Trepy: You're next, Johnny!  
  
Johnny: NO YOU DON'T!! HERE'S JOHNNY!!!  
  
He whips out a high-intensity laser cannon and aims it at the three stooges. Billy joins in with a bazooka.  
  
Billy: ATTACK!  
  
Stooges: AAAAAAAAGH!!!!!  
  
For 15 minutes they chase each other around a table. Then suddenly the three stooges are warped into another time portal.  
  
Billy: Huh? Where'd they go?  
  
Johnny: I don't know. But I can tell them this...  
  
He then stares at the ceiling.  
  
Johnny: We will meet again, little ones!  
  
In the tunnel from the 500th Dumb-Ension...  
  
Tawna: Oh boy! I'm nauseous, I'm nauseous, I'm...  
  
Bero: NOT AGAIN!!!  
  
Tawna: BWAAA!!!  
  
Bero: EEEEEEW!!!  
  
Trepy: Hey, there's the light again!  
  
Tawna: Boy, that was fas... fast... FAWOO!!!  
  
Bero: Thank God. I can't take this barfing anymore!  
  
They suddenly land on the floor of Moron Manor. Crash, Certox, Enjin, Coco, and Teeny are staring at them.  
  
Crash: Where were you?  
  
Tawna: In another dimension!  
  
Enjin: But you were only gone for 25 seconds!  
  
Trepy: It's a long story....  
  
THE END...  
  
?


	5. Crash Goes Stupid 4: Stupidity Should be...

Written under the alias SuperWhammy, this is the only CGS so far that has any discernable plot. Get ready to laugh loads.  
  
-----------------------------

CRASH GOES STUPID FOUR: STUPIDITY SHOULD BE PAINFUL  
  
By FNC!  
  
Deep in the lair of Dr. Embryo...  
  
Embryo: Finally! Success! Behold...  
  
The graffiti-covered shutter reaveals a robo-crab.  
  
Embryo: This thingermajigger!  
  
Suddenly, Embryo's nemesis, Dr. Robotnik, sqoops down and snatches the invention.  
  
Robotnik: Yoink!  
  
Embryo: Darn you Robotnik! Stop taking my crappy machines!  
  
Ladies and non-ladies, it's time for:  
  
CRASH GOES STUPID FOUR! STUPIDITY SHOULD BE...  
  
Director: Ow!  
  
An anvil is seen on his foot.  
  
Director: ...painful!  
  
Deep in N.Sanity City...  
  
What are you doing?  
  
Being the narrator.  
  
I'm the narrator!  
  
No, I am!!  
  
I thought I killed you!  
  
You were wrong.  
  
$What are you doing here? I'm the narrator!$  
  
Oh, boy...  
  
Narrator: 5 minutes later, a total of 25 narrators including myself have joined in the fight.  
  
That's my line!  
  
--You know , you're the suckiest narrator I ever heard!--  
  
Well maybe I wouldn't sound so bad if & didn't try to narrate with gingivitis!  
  
&You take that back!&  
  
Y'know, maybe we should take turns!  
  
Yeah right!  
  
-They pummel the life out of -  
  
Crash: QUIET!!!  
  
Coco: The narrators all shut up.  
  
Crash: Y'know, since it's easier to not type punctuation to narrate, I think No Punctuation should be the narrator!  
  
HA! GET OUTTA HERE, ALLYA! BOOYAH GRANDMAS, BOOYAH!  
  
Like I was saying, deep in N.Sanity City, we hear a hideous scream. We zoom in to the Eat n' Gas station to find Coco stunned on the concrete. Tawna is holding Uku Uku in her hands.  
  
Tawna: Scared ya again!  
  
Coco recovers.  
  
Coco: You didn't scare me! I just pretended to make you think I was!  
  
Tawna: Shyeah right, stooge.  
  
Coco: Doh!  
  
Crash: Shut up! I'm trying to make a prank call over here!  
  
He inserts a quarter into the payphone and dials 968-7825 (YOU-SUCK)  
  
Old lady: Hello?  
  
Crash: Yes, I'm from the Family Feud survey crew, and...  
  
Old Lady: But that show's been cancelled for over 25 years!  
  
Crash: Yeah, whatever. There's a new version, and we were wanting to know, do you have Prince Albert in a can?  
  
Old Lady: Hate to disappoint you, but no I don't.  
  
Crash: Then let him out!  
  
He hangs up!  
  
Crash: Yes! Am I the best or what?  
  
Coco: You kidding? That was the worst one I've ever heard!  
  
Crash: Aw, you're just jealous 'cause you can't make prank phone calls like I do.  
  
Coco: Stooge.  
  
Crash: Shut up and let me try again.  
  
He inserts another quarter and dials 1-800-626-4227. (1-800-MANIACS)  
  
Operator: Hello. You've reached the Maniac Counseling hotline. I'm Dora. How may I help you?  
  
Crash: Yes, I'm looking for Adolph Miweeney. He's my... err... cousin, and he's in your counseling service right now. Could you page him?  
  
Dora: Nice try.  
  
The phone hangs up.  
  
Crash: Oh yeah, totally fooled her!  
  
Tawna: You suck! Lemme see it!  
  
She shoves Crash out of the way, inserts a quarter, and dials 462-3673 (IMA-DOPE)  
  
Man: Hello?  
  
Tawna: Yes, we're from N.Sanity Power Company, and people have been complaining about their refrigerators stopping. We just wanted to know if yours was running.  
  
Man: Yes it is.  
  
Tawna: Well...  
  
Man: BUT, before you tell me to go catch it, it sucks and I would rather let it run away. So do society a favor and spend your time doing something other than harassing us innocent taxpayers!  
  
He hangs up.  
  
Coco: You suck just as bad as Crash!  
  
Tawna whips out the mask.  
  
Tawna: Wooga wooga wooga!  
  
Coco: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!  
  
She faints once again.  
  
Tawna: This is boring. What should we do now, Uku Uku?  
  
Uku Uku: .................  
  
Tawna: Okay! Folks, let's go bawl with the gangstas!  
  
Crash: That dumb mask didn't say anything!  
  
Tawna: Yes it did! It said "Let's go bawlin' with da gangstas!  
  
Crash: You stooge, that was that car back there.  
  
Tawna: Earth to moron, cars can't talk.  
  
Crash: THE RADIO, STOOGE!  
  
Tawna: But you just said the car said it!  
  
Crash: Ugh. How can I live with these morons.  
  
Tawna: Huh?  
  
Crash: I SAID HOW CAN I LIVE WITH THESE MORONS!  
  
Tawna: Ugh man hubba log man dribble! Harg!  
  
Crash: Okay, time to pinch myself!  
  
He pinches himself and feels pain. His surroundings are the same.  
  
Crash: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THIS CAN'T BE!  
  
He runs over to a businessman walking on the sidewalk.  
  
Crash: Can you understand me?  
  
Man: Of course I can!  
  
Crash: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  
  
Suddenly, cold surrounds him, and he finds himself soaking wet in his bed.  
  
Tawna: I told you dumping cold water on him would get him to wake up.  
  
Coco: Hey, at least I wasn't the one who suggested to put a lobster on his arm!  
  
Crash looks over at where he pinched himself in his dream and sees a big swollen red spot.  
  
Crash: What is the meaning of this?  
  
Coco: It's 4:30 in the afternoon, you've been sleeping for 16 hours, and your 12th grade math teacher dropped off the final report card you forgot.  
  
He takes it from Coco and looks at it in disgust.  
  
Crash: F is a funny letter. It's so effey and effish  
  
Tawna: Maybe it stands for fabulous!  
  
Crash: Or fantastic!  
  
Coco: Or febrifuge.  
  
Crash and Tawna: WHAT?  
  
Coco: Uh, it's a type of medicine used to bring down a fever.  
  
Crash looks at the bottom and sees RETAINED in big red letters.  
  
Crash: Somebody fetch me a febrifuge, fast!  
  
Tawna: Hey, it's not our fault you were an idiot back in high school!  
  
Coco: Tough luck, moron!  
  
Crash: I know! I'll build a wall all around Moron Manor so nobody will be able to come in! I'm a genius!  
  
He dashes out the door to purchase construction supplies.  
  
Coco: There goes an idiot out to complete an idiotic quest.  
  
Tawna: Wanna play Monopoly?  
  
Coco: Sure!  
  
Days later, we see Crash laying the final brick on his wall.  
  
Crash: Ha! Eat that, N.Sanity school board!  
  
Suddenly, men who look Siberian ride in on horses and stare at the wall.  
  
Crash: Huh? What are Siberians doing here?  
  
They start to tear down the wall.  
  
Crash: Hey! You best stop tearing down my wall!  
  
He starts to throw bricks at the Siberians, making them retreat. He then begins to reassemble the wall.  
  
Crash: How come every time one of us idots build a wall stupid Siberians have to come and knock it down.  
  
Meanwhile....  
  
Coco: YAHTZEE!  
  
Tawna: Well, that's game number 42.  
  
Coco: How many have we played? I've lost count.  
  
Tawna: 42 games of Yahtzee, 25 of Monopoly, 69 of Parcheesi, and 89 of Scrabble.  
  
Coco: sigh When's that moron gonna realize that a wall won't stop him from having to repeat 12th grade?  
  
Tawna: Taking into consideration his low mentality level, I'd say.... never.  
  
Coco: Oh great.  
  
Tawna: Anyone up for Parcheesi?  
  
Coco: I!  
  
Crocodingo: Arg!  
  
1 hour later...  
  
Crash: There, all nice and fixed.  
  
He then hears horses and swords further down the wall. He dashes over to save his beautiful wall.  
  
Crash: Hey you darn Siberians! Stop tearing down my crappy wall! I'm gonna get you this time, you darn Siberians!  
  
He finally reaches the location of the commotion when he realizes that it is just a bunch of decoys with a tape recorder playing.  
  
Crash: Oh, crap.  
  
He turns around to see the real Siberians knocking the wall down.  
  
Crash: Hey, Siberians! Stop tearing down my crappy wall!  
  
The Siberians run away just as Crash reaches them.  
  
Crash: Darn you Siberians! You've broke down my crappy wall for the last time!  
  
Inside, the remaining 3 idiots are watching the 12 hour marathon of MopRob CircleShorts when Coco finally figures something out. It's a miracle!  
  
Coco: Y'know, I've just figured something out!  
  
Tawna: What?  
  
Coco: We're morons!  
  
Tawna: Aw, geez.  
  
The next day, Crash is seen with a heat-seeking rocket launcher on top of the wall.  
  
Crash: I've got those Siberians now! Next time they come down to break crappy wall I'm gonna greet them with a heat-seeking missle surprise!  
  
Sure enough, the Siberians come once again.  
  
Crash: Hey, look! The stupid Siberians have come to knock down my crappy wall. Woowee.  
  
The head Siberian whips out a baseball.  
  
Crash: Oh, you're gonna throw a baseball at my wall. Oh no, not a baseball. Well, I've got something a little bigger than a baseball!  
  
He whips out his rocket launcher.  
  
Crash: Say hello to my little friend!  
  
He fires a rocket at the Siberians. Then one of the Siberian henchmen pours gasoline on the baseball and the head Siberian lights it on fire. Then he throws it at the wall. The missle follows it, which means....  
  
Crash: Oh, crap.  
  
The missle hits the wall, causing major destruction. The Siberians laugh and ride away.  
  
Crash: Darn you Siberians! You break down my crappy wall for the last time!  
  
In the manor...  
  
Coco: These Zaibatsu missions are just too hard!  
  
She's playing Grand Theft Auto 2, and keeps getting shot up by the Loonies during a particularly hard level.  
  
Tawna: That's because you just plain suck.  
  
Coco: Shut it, stooge.  
  
Tawna: One more out of you and I'll...  
  
Coco: Bring it on, punk!  
  
A cat fight commences, and Crocodingo begins to cheer.  
  
Crocodingo: Arg! Arg! Arg! Arg! AAAAAAAAAAAAAARG!!!!!!!!  
  
After several days in the hospital, Crash resumes his post as wall guard. Now we see him brewing a brown substance in a cauldron.  
  
Crash: Hahaha. Next time stupid Siberians come, I'll pour this hot fudge on them. Hot fudge so hot and sticky they'll be stuck to the wall, and I'll just laugh and laugh and laugh.  
  
Suddenly a large wooden horse is wheeled in front of the gate.  
  
Crash: Oh, I get it. Trojan Siberian horse. Siberians hiding inside, thinking I'll bring it inside crappy wall. Then Siberians pop out and break wall from inside out without getting hot fudge on their heads. Okay, I'll play along.  
  
He then begins to walk over to the horse.  
  
Crash: Oh look, my very own Siberian Trojan Horse. Hey, I guess the Siberians aren't such crappy, smelly people after all. Yeah.  
  
He then climbs down from the staircase leading to the top of the wall and walks underneath the horse.  
  
Crash: Oh, wow. I think I'll bring it inside and show it to all my friends.  
  
He pulls on the lever, and a thick brown gooey substance falls on him.  
  
Crash: Argh... hot fudge!  
  
Then the Siberians come and once again knock down the wall.  
  
Crash: Darn you Siberians! Very soon, I will make you pay!  
  
Inside Moron Manor...  
  
Tawna: More munchies!  
  
She has a large tray with 3 glasses of fruit punch and a gigantic bowl of popcorn on it.  
  
Coco: Where's Crash?  
  
Tawna: I hope he's finally given up on the wall.  
  
Coco looks outside the window and sees only a small chunk missing and Crash nowhere to be seen.  
  
Coco: Nope.  
  
Tawna: I'm gonna go outside and drag him in if I have to!  
  
Coco: We can't.  
  
Tawna: Why not?  
  
Coco: The gate doesn't open from the inside.  
  
Tawna: So you're telling me... it opens from the outside?  
  
Coco: Duh, stooge.  
  
Tawna: Then I guess Crash is the only stooge here! If his original goal was to keep the school board out, then all they have to do is waltz in!  
  
Coco: ........WHAT?!?!?! WE'RE STRANDED?!?!?!  
  
Tawna: What's so bad about that?  
  
Coco: I dunno. I've just always wanted to shout "What" like that.  
  
Tawna: Stooge.  
  
Coco: DOH!  
  
Days later...  
  
Crash is still stuck in the fudge when a tiny dog strolls past.  
  
Crash: Hey dog, got some hot fudge for ya.  
  
The dog walks over and starts to lick the fudge.  
  
Crash: That's it! Keep lickin' boy!  
  
Hours later...  
  
Crash is on top of the wall.  
  
Crash: Ha! I'm free, stupid Siberians! And now I'm gonna make you pay!  
  
Inside the Manor...  
  
Coco: Oh, great. Moron boy is on the wall again.  
  
Tawna: You know, maybe we should join the Siberians and help them break down the wall.  
  
Coco: Yeah! Maybe then he'll realize that this whole wall idea is stupid!  
  
Tawna: Let's go be Siberian!  
  
Crocodingo: Arg!  
  
Later, we see Crash confronting the Siberians with a completely wacked out outfit on.  
  
Crash: It's time to make you Siberians pay for this! Now, I will perform my war dance!  
  
He then starts to do a strange (and stupid, for that matter) dance.  
  
Crash: Yeah, I know what you're thinking. You're so scared!  
  
He then continues the dance whilst Coco and Tawna set up a mine cart full of explosives near the wall. They then carry the detonator past Crash.  
  
Crash: Hey Tawna. Hey Coco. Watch out, there's a bunch of Siberians right there.  
  
Coco hands the detonator to the Head Siberian. Crash turns around to see the explosives, and then...  
  
Crash: Oh, crap.  
  
KABOOM!!!!  
  
The Siberians, including Coco and Tawna, start to laugh.  
  
Crash: Tawna? Coco? You've become Siberians?  
  
Coco: Yo, stooge, do you not get the point yet?  
  
Crash: I think I do. The Siberians know that building walls accomplishes nothing. Tearing them down brings us together.  
  
Tawna: No, the Siberians are just destructive jerks. The point is that this wall is stupid! So do us all a favor and tear it down!  
  
Crash: Aw, God, I hate this whole planet!  
  
Hours later, the wall is down, but a cop car pulls up and a man shouts in a megaphone.  
  
Man: Crash Bandicoot! This is your truant officer! You are under arrest for skipping school for 3 months on retainment!  
  
Crash: God darnit!  
  
Coco, Tawna, and Crocodingo watch out the window laughing as Crash gets arrested.  
  
Coco: Serves idiot boy right!  
  
Tawna: Should have known better than to build the crappy wall in the first place!  
  
Crocodingo: Arg!  
  
They all begin to laugh histerically. It is at this point where our story ends.  
  
The Moral of the Story:  
  
I have a Playstation.  
  
Coming soon is the fifth installment to the saga of the idiots  
  
Crash Goes Stupid 5: Look at me when I'm being stupid!  
  
Boss: Okay, that's a rap!  
  
Thank God!  
  
Boss: Come back here in a week to do Crash Goes Stupid 5!  
  
Aww, crap!


End file.
